Those who play the game of life TO WIN. (Take Action on what they KNOW.)
Those who play the game of life to NOT TO LOSE. (Keep collecting more information and avoid taking Action.)
The reason why most people do not have what they want is because their sub-concious goal is not to get what they want, but to avoid failure and disappointment. (Fear of failure) So they CHOOSE to do nothing. They just read and study and accumulate more information.
You always have a choice. You can CHOOSE to play the game of life to AVOID LOSING and live an unstable, stressful life of limitation in which, no matter how much you read and study stuff, you will never CONSISTENTLY get what you want, or..…
You can CHOOSE to play the game of life to WIN and DO WHAT YOU KNOW. When you do, your life will no longer be about survival, but about experiencing joy and abundance and creating anything you desire regardless of your current circumstances, the economy or any other perceived obstacle.
It’s all about choice…. What are you choosing right now?
I’ve been talking a lot about questioning skills with my clients lately and thought you might enjoy some assorted thoughts.
1) A good question can draw someone inward and . . . cause them to reflect, consider and even do so subconsciously through the awareness your question has created.
2) Good questioning allows you to take control of a situation . . . without being controlling!
3) Good questions create higher quality communication. Higher quality communication fosters superior relationships. Want superior relationships? Start by asking a better question!
4) Good questions lead the recipient on a path of self discovery. You could tell someone something and perhaps they will consider it. If they discover it . . . They own it!
5) Good questions create high levels of rapport. Perhaps Voltaire was spot on when he said “Judge of a man not by his answers, but by his questions‚Äù What do your questions say about you?
6) A good question changes the lens in which a person sees their world.
7) A good question, asked of the wrong person, is just as ineffective as a poor question asked of the right person. We were taught, early on in sales, to go to the highest level of decision maker. What if we ask a brilliant question of this high level individual, but they are several layers removed from feeling the impact?
8) A good question, at the front end of a response can offer the clarity needed for you to offer a meaningful response. It will also buy you time to craft your response.
9) Good questions focus not only on discovering “the pain‚Äù, they focus on discovering the opportunities your client/prospect desires!
10) A good question can move someone off the fence of indifference by igniting emotional buy in!
So there you have it…… “If you want a better answer, ask a better question.‚Äù
The wisest and happiest among us are those who are respectful of their time, and who use it productively to grow as they age. Sadly though, far too many of us age much faster than we grow. We spend so much of our lives going through the external motions of what society tells us “maturity” is – getting married, buying a house, working our way up the corporate ladder, etc. – that we fail to concentrate on our own inner growth and goals. We never allocate enough time just for us.
Part of the problem is that we’re always waiting for some condition to resolve itself at some point in the future. We believe that the right time to take the next step with our own personal development is somehow going to magically happen tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, and so on. But one day we wake up and realise that we’re no closer than we were. We find ourselves asking, “How did it get so late, and why haven’t I moved?” In other words, we’ve aged, but we haven’t grown to our true potential. We never fulfilled ourselves.
Let this be your wake-up call. LIFE is right now. Indulge in it! Make it count. Because it’s happening… NOW!
1. Invest the present in what matters most to you.
You are the customer of a bank called Time. Every morning it credits you with eighty-six thousand, four hundred seconds. Every night it writes off, as a loss, whatever remainder you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.
Each day it opens a new account for you with the same deposit of eighty-six thousand, four hundred seconds. Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the tomorrow. You must live in the present on today’s deposits only. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success.
You’re making withdrawals right this second. The only question is: Are you making them count?
2. Focus on writing your own life story, your way.
Remember that every moment counts. Every second matters. Honestly, whatever is given is a gift.
So don’t be so satisfied with the success stories of others and how things have gone for them that you forget to write your own. Unfold your own story and bring it to life. You have everything you need to become what you are capable of becoming. Incredible change happens when you decide to take control. This means consuming less and creating more. It means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and deciding for you. It means learning to respect and use your own ideas and instincts to write your passage.
If you want your life story to soar to new heights, you’ve got to clear a path, reduce the time-thieves and burdens weighing you down, and pick up the things that give you wings. Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to your heart and dedicate time to them every day. If you truly care about what you do and you work diligently at it, there’s almost nothing you can’t accomplish.
3. Say what you do, do what you say!
Remember that thinking and doing are two very different things. Success never comes to look for you while you wait around thinking about it.
You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do. Knowledge is basically useless without action. Good things don’t come to those who wait; they come to those who work on meaningful goals. Ask yourself what’s really important and then have the courage to build your life around your answer.
Identify what’s most important to you. Dump nonessential commitments. Eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else. No wasted time, no fluff, no regrets.
And remember, if you wait until you feel 100% ready to begin, you’ll likely be waiting the rest of your life.
So challenge yourself to be who you know you are capable of being. Challenge yourself to follow through – to say what you do, and do what you say, to walk your talk. Don’t worry about how slowly you feel you’re heading towards your goals, or how many roadblocks you find, or how many detours you’re forced to take. As long as you keep doing your thing, you’re still cruising far ahead of everyone who’s too scared to even try.
4. Step boldly into the unknown.
And don’t buy into the myth of the perfect moment either. Moments aren’t perfect; they’re what you make them. So many people wait around for the stars to align to do what they’re here to do. The perfect moment, the perfect opportunity, the perfect state of being, etc. Wake up! These states of perfection are myths. They do not exist.
Your ability to grow to your highest potential is directly related to your willingness to act in the face of imperfection. You will come to succeed not by finding a perfect moment, but by learning to see and use life’s imperfections perfectly.
So ask yourself this: “When all is said and done, will I have said more than I’ve done?” Let your answer be NO!
May your actions speak louder than your words. May your life preach louder than your lips. May your success be your noise in the end.
And if life only teaches you one thing, let it be that taking a passionate leap is always worth it. Even if you have no idea where you’re going to land yet, be brave enough to step up to the edge of the unknown, and listen to your heart every now and then. You’re worth it.
Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will. So don’t let fear decide your future. In the end, you can be comfortable or courageous, but not both at once.
2 – Keep being unrealistic!
To be successful, you have to be a little unrealistic. You have to believe that something totally different than what has happened for an eternity CAN happen starting now. Think about it.
Being realistic doesn’t change anything – being unrealistic does.
Doesn’t it seem a bit unrealistic to be able to use a mobile phone to instantly research any topic imaginable, watch movies, get perfect driving directions to anywhere you want to go, and see your friends face-to-face no matter where in the world you are? Fortunately a small group of computer scientists didn’t think so.
3 – Keep being willing to make mistakes!
Making mistakes is far more productive than never moving. You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy avoiding or denying them. And no matter how bad of a mistake you make, there comes a time when you have to stop thinking about it and move on.
No regrets in life – just lessons that show you the way forward.
4 – Keep thinking positive!
Thoughts are power. They create and destroy. What is possible is everything. What you do is up to you.
Look around and you will see that almost your entire life has been born out of your thoughts. Know this, and plant your seeds accordingly. You can change your mind at any moment. So go ahead and Change it, Do It Now.
5 – Keep giving what you can!
Exercise your talents to give back.
Do so whenever you can, because you can. And when you get tired, remember all those people who can’t do what you can do.
Think about what they would be willing to give to have the abilities you have right now – a simple gift you take for granted.
Then strive harder just for them. And know that there are others out there with different gifts who are doing the same for you.
If the face you always show the world is a mask, someday there will be nothing beneath it. Because when you spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you eventually forget who you really are. So don’t fear the judgments of others; you know in your heart who you are and what’s true to you. You don’t have to be perfect to impress and inspire people. Let them be impressed and inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.
2- Letting someone else create your dreams for you.
The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are; the second greatest is being happy with what you find. A big part of this is your decision to stay true to your own goals and dreams. Do you have people who disagree with you? Good. It means you’re standing your ground and walking your own path. Sometimes you’ll do things considered crazy by others, but when you catch yourself excitedly losing track of time, that’s when you’ll know you’re doing the right thing.
3- Keeping negative company.
Don’t let someone who has a bad attitude give it to you. Don’t let them get to you. They can’t pull the trigger if you don’t hand them the gun. When you remember that keeping the company of negative people is a choice, instead of an obligation, you free yourself to keep the company of compassion instead of anger, generosity instead of greed, and patience instead of anxiety.
4- Being selfish and egotistical.
A life filled with loving deeds and good character is the best tombstone. Those who you inspired and shared your love with will remember how you made them feel long after your time has expired. So carve your name on hearts, not stone. What you have done for yourself alone dies with you; what you have done for others and the world remains.
5- Avoiding change and growth.
If you want to know your past look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future look into your present actions. You must let go of the old to make way for the new; the old way is gone, never to come back. If you acknowledge this right now and take steps to address it, you will position yourself for lasting success.
These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways. They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.
2.Start facing your problems head on.
It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them. Problems will not disappear unless you take action. Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done. It’s all about taking small steps in the right direction, inch by inch. These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.
3.Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes.
The mind must believe it CAN do something before it is capable of actually doing it. The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful. Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Regardless of how a situation seems, focus on what you DO WANT to happen, and then take the next positive step forward. No, you can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to things. Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether or not you’re happy and successful in the long run depends greatly on which aspects you focus on.
4.Start concentrating on the things you can control.
You can’t change everything, but you can always change something. Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation. Invest your energy in the things you can control, and act on them now.
5.Start taking full accountability for your own life.
Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them. Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will. And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own. You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. And no, it won’t always be easy. Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them. But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles. Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.
So there it is… A positive to do list… Do It Now! DIN!
As Martin Luther King Jr. so profoundly said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
When we harbor feelings of hate, it eventually gets the best of us. Everything and everyone you hate rents permanent space in both your head and heart. So if you want to eliminate something or someone from your mind, don’t hate. Instead, disconnect yourself, move on, and don’t look back.
And remember that getting even doesn’t help you get ahead. You will never get ahead of anyone as long as you try to get even with them.
Sometimes we don’t forgive people because they deserve it; we forgive them because they need it, because we need it, and because we cannot move forward without it.
To forgive is to rediscover the inner peace and purpose that at first you thought someone took away when they betrayed you.
6. “I can’t!”
Yes you CAN!
Stop stressing over what could have been, because the chances are if it should have been, it would have been.
You may feel discouraged.
You may feel upset.
You may feel too old.
You may be sick.
You may be divorced.
You may be unemployed.
You may be financially strapped.
You may be… etc.
But you’re not dead – YOU ARE ALIVE. Your journey is far from over.
Forget about how you thought things were supposed to be. Just because some things didn’t work out as you had expected, or didn’t happen as fast as you thought they would, is no excuse to give up on yourself.
Time passes one way or the other. Do what you need to do so that, at the very least, you can look back someday and say, “I gave life my best shot!”
Don’t let them convince your heart what is right for you. Your heart already knows. Listen to it.
Don’t let anyone dilute the power of your inner voice.
You’ve got to stand up for something specific, on your own two feet, or you will achieve nothing worthwhile in your own mind. Within you there is formidable and undeniable sense of purpose.
Happiness comes from making a solid and persistent connection to that purpose. When your intentions are supported by a ‘why’ that has meaning, you will find the ‘how’ to bring them to life.
Bottom line: What’s right for you may be wrong for others, and vice versa. The truth is that the world isn’t really as it is, but as we see it. And we all see it differently. So don’t be scared to step out of line.
It’s OK to go off the beaten path, as long as you know why going a different way is right for you.
Some people may resent the freedom that you create in your life when you choose to be true to yourself. If you come across these people, ignore them and carry on.
4. “This is shit!”
The worst obstacle in life is a bad attitude.
Remember, it’s not what happens to you, but how you respond to what happens to you. You can’t let one bad moment spoil a bunch of good ones.
Don’t let the silly little dramas of each day get you down. Smile, even when it feels like things are falling apart. Smiling doesn’t always mean you’re happy; sometimes it just means you’re strong.
Likewise, do not let the negative opinions of others derail you.
Throughout your life you will meet two kinds of people: those who are a drain on your energy and try to derail your dreams, and those who give you the energy to pursue your dreams.
Ignore the first kind and cherish the second. People that doubt, judge, and disrespect you are not worth your time and attention.
To accomplish great things, you must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe. Be a dreamer, a believer, and a courageous and cheerful thinker.
Be a positive motivator, a productive doer, and a go-getter who keeps her head in the clouds and her feet on the ground.
Let the spirit of passion and possibility ignite a fire within you to do something worthwhile today, and don’t forget to spread your enthusiasm to those around you.
There’s no excuse for being an amateur forever. Life is short. The day is rapidly approaching when the risk to remain stuck in your nest is far more detrimental than the risk it takes to fly. Fly! Spread your wings. Start now.
How sad it would be for you to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of your full potential.
Be bold enough to use your voice, brave enough to listen to your heart, and strong enough to live the life you’ve always imagined.
And remember, people are going to talk regardless of what you do or how well you do it. So worry about yourself before you worry about what others think.
2. “I don’t have a choice.”
William James once said, “When you have a choice to make and you don’t make it, that in itself is a choice.” Nothing could be closer to the truth.
Ultimately, life has no meaning; you have a meaning and you bring it to life. It is a waste to always be questioning yourself when you are the answer.
Until you can look at yourself in the mirror and honestly say, “I have a choice. I am here now because of the choices I’ve made in the past” you will never be able to say, “I choose differently”.
You’re choosing, all day, every day. If you’re struggling at a job you don’t love, look at it this way: you’re choosing to make a living to pay your mortgage, support your family, and fuel your dreams.
Don’t resist it; own it – that’s where your power is.
If you’re in a relationship that’s causing you pain, you’re choosing to be in it.
Maybe staying will lead to essential growth or a breakthrough or a deeper understanding of love. Or not. But you’re choosing to be in or out, right now. Whichever you choose, own it – that’s where your power is.
Love is a verb, not a noun. It is ACTIVE in all relationships.
Love is not just feelings of passion and romance between lovers; it is also a behavior among friends and family.
If someone lies to you, they are unlovingly disrespecting you and your relationship.
When you keep someone in your life who is a compulsive liar, and you keep giving them new chances to be trusted, you have a lot in common with this person – you’re both lying and being unloving to you!
Bottom line: Those who avoid the truth and tell you only what you want to hear do so for their own benefit, not yours. Don’t put up with it.
6.Their negativity is rubbing off on you.
The negative people in your life don’t just behave negatively towards you, but towards everyone they interact with.
What they say and do is a projection of their own reality – their own inner issues. Even if they say something to you that seems personal – even if they insult you directly – it likely has zero to do with you.
This is important to remember because what these negative people say and do shouldn’t be taken to heart. Although you don’t have control over what they say and do; you do have control over whether or not you allow them to say and do these things to you.
You alone can deny their venomous words and actions from invading your heart and mind. If you feel like these people are getting to you, take a break and give yourself some space to breathe.
Positive things happen when you distance yourself from negative people. Doing so doesn’t mean you hate them, it simply means you respect yourself.