10 Thoughts about Questions

I’ve been talking a lot about questioning skills with my clients lately and thought you might enjoy some assorted thoughts.

1) A good question can draw someone inward and . . . cause them to reflect, consider and even do so subconsciously through the awareness your question has created.

2) Good questioning allows you to take control of a situation . . . without being controlling!

3) Good questions create higher quality communication. Higher quality communication fosters superior relationships. Want superior relationships? Start by asking a better question!

4) Good questions lead the recipient on a path of self discovery. You could tell someone something and perhaps they will consider it. If they discover it . . . They own it!

5) Good questions create high levels of rapport. Perhaps Voltaire was spot on when he said “Judge of a man not by his answers, but by his questions‚Äù What do your questions say about you?

6) A good question changes the lens in which a person sees their world.

7) A good question, asked of the wrong person, is just as ineffective as a poor question asked of the right person. We were taught, early on in sales, to go to the highest level of decision maker. What if we ask a brilliant question of this high level individual, but they are several layers removed from feeling the impact?

8) A good question, at the front end of a response can offer the clarity needed for you to offer a meaningful response. It will also buy you time to craft your response.

9) Good questions focus not only on discovering “the pain‚Äù, they focus on discovering the opportunities your client/prospect desires!

10) A good question can move someone off the fence of indifference by igniting emotional buy in!

So there you have it…… “If you want a better answer, ask a better question.‚Äù

Witch Doctor Ash

Ash won’t shrink from any player’s challenge

ASHLEY LAWRENCE would have been burned at the stake or at the very least sat on a ducking chair and plunged into icy water a few hundred years ago.

Anyone who reckoned he (or indeed she) could heal with the power of positive thinking would have been declared a witch and suffered the consequences.

We’re a bit more broad minded now, of course. No way is he considered some sort of charlatan; a quack who plays on the minds of those who are easily susceptible.

He is a bona fide, fully paid up member of the sports psychologist clan and it was as such that we had a chat last week.

The whole thing was set up by Javed Mughal, Medway’s best-known physio who has his own practice in Rainham and who now oversees all the remedial work done at Priestfield.

Jav suggested I might like to meet Ashley; see what he’s all about and see what he’s done.

Ideal candidate for the interview, me. Sceptic to the last. One who scoffs at all that mumbo jumbo nonsense and probably thinks Ashley should be burned as a witch.

Then they told me he started work with the Gills players after the FA Cup demise at the hands of non-league Dover.

And then I started wondering if there might just be something in it after all.

Since that defeat Gills have lost only twice. They have ended an utterly dismal sequence of away matches without a win – stretching back to before the Wembley victory in 2009. They have climbed from the relegation zone to a position just outside the play-off positions. Many people reckon they could yet make it to automatic promotion.

Coincidence? Maybe.

You have to remember that manager Andy Hessenthaler brought in two very good players from Peterborough for a month. Their arrival did the team a world of good, but they’ve been gone since December and yet the team are still playing well and had it not been for a couple of outstanding goalkeepers would probably now be around fourth in League 2.

“Football is using a lot more sports psychologists for the treatment and well-being of players,” said Jav. “Particularly when they have long-term injuries. If they have negativity in them it detracts from their recovery and treatment. We have engaged Ashley to work the team as a whole and with those players who wish to work on an individual basis.

“Looking at what’s been happening on the pitch, it seems to be working.”

Ashley took over the conversation at that point.

Read the complete article here.

Ashley works with Gillingham FC

Gills meet away day problems head on…

How does a team which cannot win away for 18 months triumph twice on the road in four days?

Plenty of Gillingham fans may have pondered that question on the way home from watching the 2-1 victory at Barnet on Tuesday night, which came hot on the heels of a 1-0 win at Oxford last weekend.

Injuries, bad luck, poor refereeing decisions and better opposition have all been used to explain the 34-game winless run, but the latest addition to the club’s backroom staff believes differently.

Sports psychologist Ashley Lawrence was brought in following the side’s humiliating FA Cup defeat to Dover earlier this month. Since then the former Gills youth team player has come in twice a week to speak to the squad and believes success is all in the mind.

“If you look through all the players in the division, 10 per cent will be physically better and 10 per cent not as good, so there are 80 per cent in the middle that are roughly the same,” he said. “So what’s the bit that lifts them above that? It’s psychological, not about ability. It’s that edge and if you can get five per cent more then you’re going to do well.

Read the full article here.

It’s good to talk

Adebayo Akinfenwa hailed the impact of sports psychologist Ashley Lawrence for helping to transform his Gillingham career.

Ashley Lawrence was brought in after Gillingham hit their lowest point of the season in early November with the FA Cup first round defeat to Dover.

Akinfenwa, who walked off to a standing ovation on Tuesday during the 3-0 win over Port Vale, has been helped by the openness that has been encouraged at the club.

The striker said: “He (Ashley Lawrence) has made a massive difference by just sitting down and talking.

Read full article here.