What Conway’s Game of Life Teaches Us About Progress
There’s an old saying:
“Once is a mistake.
Twice is a pattern.
Three times, it’s habitual.”
It’s a simple framework that explains how human behaviour takes root. One slip-up can be written off as chance. Do it again and you’ve created a recognisable pattern. Do it a third time and you’ve set the foundations of a habit — whether good or bad.
Now, this might sound like common sense, but when you combine it with Conway’s Game of Life — a mathematical model of how patterns emerge from simple rules — the lesson becomes much clearer, and far more powerful for life and business.
Let’s break it down.
Conway’s Game of Life:
Conway’s Game of Life isn’t really a “game” in the traditional sense. There are no players, no dice, no board you move around on. It’s a cellular automaton — a grid of squares (cells) that can be alive or dead.
The rules are dead simple:
- A live cell with fewer than two live neighbours dies (loneliness).
- A live cell with two or three live neighbours survives.
- A live cell with more than three neighbours dies (overcrowding).
- A dead cell with exactly three live neighbours becomes alive (birth).
That’s it. Four rules.
But from these rules, patterns emerge. Some die out instantly. Some stabilise into predictable shapes. Some oscillate back and forth. And some keep growing into sprawling, chaotic systems.
The genius of the Game of Life is that it mirrors real life and business:
Small actions, repeated in certain contexts, create larger patterns — sometimes productive, sometimes destructive.
The Link Between Mistakes, Patterns, and Habits
Think of your life or business decisions as “cells” in the Game of Life.
- One poor choice (skipping the gym, missing a client deadline, snapping at a colleague) is like a single dead cell. On its own, it might disappear.
- Repeat that choice, and you’ve created a pattern — just like how in Conway’s grid, a small cluster of cells begins to stabilise or oscillate.
- Do it a third time, and you’ve essentially coded a habit into the system. Now it has momentum.
The same applies to positive actions. One small win might not change much. Do it twice and a pattern appears. Do it three times and you’ve embedded a habit that strengthens over time.
In other words:
The rules of your life and business are written in your daily behaviours, not your grand plans.
Why This Matters in Life and Business
Patterns define outcomes.
In business, your systems, processes, and daily actions dictate whether you grow, stagnate, or collapse. In life, your habits shape your health, relationships, and opportunities.
- Ignore small mistakes, and they compound into dysfunction.
- Nurture positive micro-actions, and they evolve into stable growth.
Just like in Conway’s Game of Life, you don’t need complicated strategies. You need consistent rules and the discipline to stick to them.
Tips for Using This Theory to Improve Your Life and Business
1. Catch the First Mistake
Don’t shrug off mistakes as harmless. A single bad decision is a warning sign, not a free pass. If you skip a workout today, acknowledge it and reset tomorrow. If you mishandle a client call, learn from it instantly.
Why it works: You prevent the second and third slip that turn mistakes into habits.
2. Track Patterns, Not Goals
Here are some practical ways to take this idea and make it work for you:
Instead of obsessing over big goals, watch your patterns. Are you consistently late to meetings? Are you consistently finishing tasks early? Patterns tell the truth about your direction.
Why it works: Patterns reveal the reality of who you’re becoming, not who you claim you want to be.
3. Audit Your Rules
In Conway’s Game of Life, everything is dictated by the rules. In your life and business, your rules are your standards and non-negotiables. Decide what’s acceptable and what isn’t.
Why it works: If your rules are vague, chaos creeps in. If your rules are clear, growth stabilises.
4. Use the “Three-Times Test”
Whenever you notice a behaviour repeating, ask yourself:
- Once: mistake or fluke.
- Twice: pattern emerging.
- Three times: this is now a habit.
Why it works: It forces you to intervene before bad habits cement themselves — and helps you double down on good ones.
5. Nudge the Grid with Small Changes
In the Game of Life, shifting a single cell can change the whole future pattern. In real life, small tweaks compound. Show gratitude daily, send one more follow-up email, or shave five minutes off procrastination.
Why it works: Small positive actions ripple outwards, building powerful patterns.
6. Recognise Overcrowding and Burnout
One of Conway’s rules is that too many neighbours kill a cell. In business, overcrowding your schedule leads to burnout. In life, too many commitments destroy balance.
Why it works: Protecting space allows healthy habits to survive and grow.
7. Create Environments for Birth
Remember: a dead cell becomes alive if surrounded by three neighbours. In your life, new habits form when you place yourself in the right environment. Join a mastermind, hire a coach, surround yourself with positive people.
Why it works: Habits aren’t just about willpower — they’re about the environment you build.
8. Accept That Chaos Emerges
Even in Conway’s grid, some patterns spiral into uncontrollable chaos. In life and business, the same happens — an unforeseen event, a failed product, a personal crisis.
Why it works: By expecting chaos, you focus on building resilience rather than chasing perfection.
9. Focus on Stabilising Good Habits
In the Game of Life, some shapes stabilise into unchanging forms. That’s your aim with positive habits: reach a point where they don’t require willpower.
Why it works: Stability frees mental energy for bigger challenges.
10. Zoom Out to See the Bigger Picture
In the moment, a single cell doesn’t look like much. But zoom out and you see the pattern it belongs to. Same in business and life — today’s actions feel small, but over years, they build your reality.
Why it works: Keeps you motivated when progress feels slow.
Final Thoughts
“Once is a mistake. Twice is a pattern. Three times, it’s habitual.”
It’s not just a catchy phrase — it’s a reminder that your life and business are built cell by cell, action by action. Just like Conway’s Game of Life, the rules are simple but relentless:
What you repeat becomes who you are.
You don’t need to overhaul everything at once. You just need to catch the mistakes early, nurture the good patterns, and let small wins compound until they stabilise into unstoppable habits.
Because in the end, success — in life or business — isn’t built on extraordinary actions. It’s built on ordinary actions, repeated until they reshape the entire grid.
✅ Takeaway: Guard against repeating mistakes, double down on repeating wins, and remember: your patterns today become your reality tomorrow.