Say what you do, do what you say!! Really? Recently I’ve been out visiting different network groups, mainly to see how other people do it and if necessary bring ABC Networks up to scratch. One of the main things I’ve noticed and quite frankly has shocked me is the number of people that make promises that they don’t keep.
Why would they say one thing and do something different? It appears to me that this phenomenon is endemic among small business owners.
Now, I say to myself, there is no such thing as coincidence, so where else is this showing up in their lives? It can’t just be a one off!
When we don’t follow through on things that we promise to do, it not only shows disrespect but also destroys trust. Who wants to do business with someone they don’t trust, and more to the point in the context of networking would you refer someone you don’t trust?
What is it that makes them over promise and under deliver? Is it the fact that they want us to have a positive and favourable opinion of them? This seems to be a pointless exercise as after all, we will find out at a later time that they don’t deliver on their promises.
Ash’s first rule of life and business…‚ “Say what you do, do what you say.” If you can’t follow through with the action, don’t make the promise.
Your mission for this week is to see where you are following through on your promises, how ever small they may be.
As Yoda once said “Either do or do not, there is no try!”
People may spend a lot of time and energy proving a point about something. You can never prove you are right to someone else’ The harder you try to prove it to them, the more stubborn both you and they become, often to the point that whoever is wrong, even if it’s you, will never admit it.
The only person who is important in determining whether you’re right is YOU. How you see a situation is your view alone. Your beliefs and opinions belong to you, nobody else. Your thoughts about a situation, with respect to yourself, is what counts. Everyone sees things with a different set of eyes. Each has the right to their views or opinions.
There’s a big difference between believing a viewpoint or opinion to be right, and whether it’s objectively and factual, accurate or correct. People often do things or have ideas that are inaccurate or incorrect. But facts don’t have to be proven to others. People in relationships, such as parents, spouses, bosses, have both the right and the responsibility to point out errors of fact to others. Recognise the difference between opinion and fact. It can prevent you from falling into a trap of having to prove yourself to someone else. Facts are objective and true, you don’t need to prove them to others. The facts do that on their own. If you tell someone that a bus leaves at 8am, you don’t have to prove it. If the person arrives at 8:10, the bus will be gone! Recognise when others draw you into a trap of trying to “prove” yourself or prove your point. Extended families often try this trick especially on newcomers like son-in-laws and daughter-in-laws. These newcomers are often baited by opinionated statements, and end up trying to prove a point in defence of themselves or others. You’ll never prove a point to someone else who holds an opinion or a value quite different from yours. You’ll only escalate tempers and emotions and create hard feelings between you and them. YOU KNOW if your opinions, views, ideas and values are right for you. That’s all you need. Don’t get caught in a never-ending circular trap of trying to prove you’re points or views are right to others.
Equally, don’t react to baited comments from others. Don’t think you have to prove you’re right, and they’re wrong. You’ll just wear yourself down, or work yourself into such an anger that you may do things that you seriously regret and feel badly about later. “The proof of the pudding is in the eating”. The proof of your views, opinions and ideas, is in your confidence with yourself. This can’t be forced on others despite how great you feel that proof is.
It’s coming up to 3 years since the unexpected passing of my mum. This weekend I caught myself reflecting on the morning when I received the news, and how since, lots of people who I barely know came up to me over the subsequent days and gave me a pat on the back, a hug, or a genuine “I’m sorry!” More →
In life, the journey is more important than the destination.
Too many of us agonise over choices in things that don’t matter, and in the end maybe choose none of them.
This is a story for people who are forever putting things off until everything is just right, until they have checked all the options, until they have looked into every aspect, and who won’t decide between different options in case they pick the wrong one. More →
Here’s the great challenge of life – You can have more than you’ve got because you can become more than you are. Unless of course, you’re tossing it off!!
I have found that your income will rarely exceed your own personal development. Once in a while your income may take a lucky jump, but unless you grow out to where it is, it will come back to where you are.
Somebody once said if you took all the money in the world and divided it among everyone equally; it would soon be back in the same pockets. However, you can have more because you can become more.
If I got marooned on an island with 99 other people that all had one pair of shoes, it wouldn’t be long before I had more than one pair of shoes…
You see, here is how the other side of the coin looks – unless you change how you are, you will always have what you’ve got. The marketing plan won’t do it. It’s a good plan but it won’t work without you.
You’ve got to work at it. It is the human effort that counts. Wouldn’t it be great if someone came along and did it for you – wouldn’t that be lovely? The major thing that makes the difference is what YOU do.
In order to have more, you need to become more. The man says “If I had a good job I would really work harder, but I have this poxy job so I’ll just toss it off.” If that is your philosophy you are destined to stay there.
At one of my ABC meetings the other day I spoke to this man, he had told me a year ago that networking didn’t work so he wouldn’t be coming back, so you can imagine I was surprised to see him.
When I asked him what had happened to make him come back he told me he had read this book about networking and that “It wasn’t about what you know, it’s about who you know!” No shit Sherlock! The funny thing is that he repeated the behaviour that didn’t get him a result the first time round, i.e, sitting on his own and not engaging in any conversation with anyone. He did his 60 second pitch asking for help and that was it!
He was expecting THINGS to change, he didn’t realise that HE had to change!
Some people say “If I had a lot of money I would be really generous, but I don’t have much so I’m not generous.”
See, you’ve got to change that philosophy or you will never have “the lots of money”. Unless YOU change, IT won’t change. Amazingly, however, when we stop blaming all and sundry and take responsibility for everything in our lives – the difference is everything else will begin to change around us.
Over the years, likely without your conscious knowledge, you have adopted self-limiting beliefs that are quietly mucking up your best efforts for personal growth. If you pay close attention to your self-talk, these beliefs will reveal themselves in the form of excuses.
The truth is, if you really want something, you will find a way. If you don’t, you will find an excuse… and then you will live with that excuse every day of your life. This is precisely what makes so many of us unhappy.
I speak with hundreds of clients and blog subscribers (subscribe here) every month, and this one self-defeating behaviour always rears its ugly head eventually – excuses, excuses, excuses. And I’m not above the excuses either. I catch myself making them sometimes too. But that’s the key – we have to catch ourselves before our excuses become hopeless regrets.
So let this be your wake-up call.
Stop making excuses for why you can’t get it done and start focusing on all the reasons why you must make it happen.
NO more negativity. NO more laziness. NO more quick fixes. NO more blaming others. NO more “I’ll do it tomorrow.” NO MORE EXCUSES!
Here are 7 common excuses that losers use…
1.”It’s too late.” – It’s never too late to live a life that makes you proud. If you don’t learn anything else from this post, learn that. We get one go at this life. There’s no age limit on changing your course, and to settle in and be stuck in a life that isn’t making you happy is a tragic waste. Honestly, it’s never too late or too early to be who you are capable of being. There’s no time limit – you can simply start and stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. You can make the best or the worst of it. It’s up to you, so make the best of it. Do things that shock you. Feel things you’ve never felt before. Spend time with people who help you grow. Live a life you’re proud of. And if you find that you’re not, have the courage to make a change.
2.”I’m not good enough yet.” – Rubbish! Do your best and don’t be afraid to make mistakes. If you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, and changing the world for the better. We can’t make anything valuable without making mistakes. Not a painting, not a relationship, not a career, not a life. If you wait until you have it all figured out to try, you will be waiting forever. Do It Now!
3.”I have way too much to lose.” – In the end, you will not regret the things you have done nearly as much as the things you haven’t done. It’s always better to be left with a few “oh wells,” than a bunch of “what ifs.” It’s better to have a lifetime full of experiences and mistakes you learned from, rather than a heart full of regrets and empty dreams. Someday you will want to look back at your life and say, “I can’t believe I did that!” instead of, ” What if I’d done this or that…”
4.”I have too much baggage from my past.” – There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page and closing the book. Some stories need to end before new ones can begin. Life is too short to spend at war with yourself. Practice acceptance and forgiveness. Letting go of the past is your first step to happiness today. It’s said that as one door closes another opens, but if you are spending all of your time looking at the one that’s just closed you may well miss the one that’s opened!
5.”I’ve already lost too much.” – The truth is, everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end. We’ve all gone through some hard times, and you, personally, will likely go through more hard times in the future too. But it’s worth it. It builds character and teaches necessary lessons. I can trace some of the best stuff in my life right now to things that were really hard when I was going through them. So when things seem like they are impossible, or you feel like you are never going to feel better, just know that you will eventually look back in amazement at how far you have come. Yes, it’s going to be okay.
6.”No one understands me.” – Everyone has their own life to worry about; everybody is busy. At the end of the day, no one has the time or energy to figure anyone else out. If it really matters to you that someone understands you, simply communicate and make it easy for them to do so. Stop playing games and beating around the bush. Say what you do and do what you say. (And remember that it’s not necessary that everyone understands and agrees with you all the time.)
7.”I’m comfortable right now” – The most common and harmful addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. Why chase greatness when can sit and watch Eastenders? Just pass another biscuit and forget about your future plans. NO! The truth is, growth begins at the end of your comfort zone. Stepping outside of your comfort zone will put things into perspective from an angle you can’t grasp now, and open doors of opportunity that would otherwise not exist.
So no more excuses, the only thing that stops you having what you want is the excuse you have of why you can’t have it!
A strategy to stay aligned
Supporting your business forecasts combined
Avoid all unnecessary costs
You will not get your wires crossed
For knowing your fixed and variable figure
Will certainly not leave you feeling bitter.
Overheads and running rate
Do not EVER leave to fate
Remember to fully integrate
To help your figures grow and inflate
If overheads are dearer
Then this couldn’t be clearer
You may need to increase your charge
To see your bank balance enlarge.
What is your vision? Is it boutique or Scalable?
Use Capacity teachings and be able
To work out your figures by times table
To ensure your business looks attractive and saleable
Apply the 70/30 rule
This is truly an amazing tool
Do this to keep your cool
And turn your business into a jewel.
For a business that now runs more effectively
It will also allow you to increase productivity
And choose your projects and jobs selectively
So you and your business can run side by side, respectively.
Add capacity when and where its needed
And be the one who succeeded
To see the times you took hold and proceeded
To make change, adapted and acceded
At 70% you find a larger container
Treat your business like your its personal trainer
Implementing change, it couldn’t be plainer
FOLLOW ALL THIS AND BECOME A 70/30 CAMPAIGNER!
The result of great success is often pretty noisy – lots of people talking, writing and sharing stories about it. The actual process of achieving great success, on the other hand, is far more discreet. It’s this process that happens quietly, behind-the-scenes, that makes all the difference in the world.
I am fortunate enough to know a number of very successful people. Regardless of lifestyle, industry or profession, they all share many of the same quiet rituals. And that’s precisely what I want to show you here.
Here are ten things the most successful people I know do quietly and diligently: More →
Many believe the Viking legend that proposes the Norsemen burned their own ships as they invaded a new frontier. Within that unconventional behaviour was the thought that taking such action guaranteed commitment to conquering the territory. The Vikings knew how the mind works. Retreating to a safe harbour when situations become difficult is something most of us are all too familiar with.
We know intuitively the right path for our lives. And while we all get off task and distracted by our work-a-day worlds and relationships that demand attention, we know when we are on course. Most of us are experts at quitting unproductive behaviour… because we’ve quit and then re-started that poor behaviour many times.
Here are the four ideas that will help you on your conquest to gain what is rightfully yours:
1 – Identify the major roadblocks 2 – Agree you have the ability to overcome any obstacle (Many times we created it) 3 – Surround yourself with people that support your dreams. 4 – Burn the ship… take away the fears and behaviours that allow you to retreat to safe and unproductive harbour’s.
Burning the ships is one of many legends of the Vikings (good and bad). We are responsible for creating our legend.
Set sail to new territory today… and burn the ship of self-doubt when you get there!
“If you want to take the island, then burn your boats! With absolute commitment comes the insights that create real victory!” Tony Robbins
I have a rhyme,
that would be sublime,
if it shared the purpose,
of great customer service!
Rule number 1 for happy customers, listen,
See their eyes light up and glisten,
Identify your customers needs,
And you will be the one that sees,
That if you can anticipate and focus,
Your clients will know there’s no hocus pocus. Put your attention to important objectives,
To gather ideas and play detective,
When synergising together as collectives,
You deliver and listen to different perspectives.
Therefore you gather what will really matter,
and all this from an initial little natter.
Rule number 2 Explain what you gather,
Delivering value and relevant matter,
Sharing with them your thoughts of great strategy,
And do it all with fantastic hospitality.
Know you product inside and out,
So you can deliver with great klout,
Being an expert is what it’s about,
From this knowledge your business will sprout.
This is how to be an informative expert,
So listen to these rules to convert,
A friendly chit chatter into a sale,
And so your business will surly prevail.
Rule number 3 make sure you understand,
To create transparency about your brand,
Building upon your customers expectations,
By clarifying all your intended formations.
Rule number 4 have a friendly attitude,
And remember to always show your gratitude,
Having the right intent, you will go far,
And show them exactly how genuine you are.
Build confidence, reputation and trust,
Follow these rules you simply must, To build and withhold your deserved reputation,
You will be presented with Great Service certification.
Be willing and show continued support,
Presenting you really are a good sport,
Even if they like to scream and shout,
Say ‘Hold on, I understand, let’s sort this out’.
Rule number 5 is excellence in what you do,
Your skills, your strengths, creating value,
Consistency is key here all the way through,
To make sure your customers are not feeling blue.
Rule number 6 is attention to detail,
By following up with a friendly email,
Or a telephone call to say ‘How are you?’,
Your relationship will blossom and stick like glue.
Rule number 7 have empathy and do not snare,
Let them know they will be treated fair,
Be creative, don’t moan, don’t despare,
And reinforce your known for customer care.
Rule number 8 appreciate their custom,
And treat each client to which they are accustomed,
To congratulate them on completing the brief,
And we have all done so without any grief.
Rule number 9 reliability is key to business success,
So be grateful and pleased it went without stress,
Lay it out on the line for all to see,
And an overnight successes you will be.
To conclude it’s all about going the extra mile, AND REMEMBER TO DO IT ALL WITH A SMILE!
We live in turbulent times with lots of lies being told! There are fewer guarantees and more uncertainties these days. Thankfully this also means there are lots of opportunities to be had. And if you and I are to overcome the obstacles that are in our way and seize the opportunities, we’re going to need strong minds. Mental strength means you understand how to manage your emotions, adjust your thinking, and choose to take positive action, despite your circumstances. It’s knowing deep down that every little struggle is progress. And if you really want it, you’ll do it, despite failure and rejection and the odds. Every step forward will be tough, but will feel better than anything else you can imagine. You will ultimately come to realise that the struggle is not found on the path, it is the path. And it’s worth your while.
Being willing to walk this path of resistance is what mental strength is all about. 90% of our problems as rational human beings are the by-product of learned mental weakness. In other words, over time we’ve heard a succession of lies from other people about what we need and what we don’t need – about what we can and can’t do – about what is and isn’t possible for us – and we subconsciously we believed every word.
What’s worse? We now tell some of these lies to ourselves and we live by them every day.
Which means it’s time for us to unlearn these lies for the sake of our own mental strength:
1 -It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We all have an idea in our heads about how things are supposed to be, and sadly this is what often messes us up the most. Realise this…
Expect less and learn more. Let go and let life grow you – let it test you. You won’t always understand it and that’s OK. Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it does. And then just when you think it can’t get any better, it does. Mentally strong people are appreciative of the obstacles in their path because they know the obstacles are necessary stepping-stones. So keep going, keep growing, and someday you will be able to describe your entire life in just one sentence: “It didn’t go as planned, and that’s OK.”
2-This situation is definitely bad. There’s an adage in the ancient philosophy of Stoicism, “There is no good or bad, there is only perception,” which was later echoed in Shakespeare’s famous quote, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Truth be told, the way we perceive a situation has tremendous power to either help us or harm us. So often, we react emotionally and project negative judgments onto a situation, when the first key to overcoming a challenge is to view things objectively. In the long run, it usually isn’t what you have or where you are or what you’ve been through that makes or breaks you; it’s how you think about it all and what you do next.
3 -You don’t have any other choice. Have you ever met a happy, successful person who regularly avoids responsibility, blames and points fingers and makes excuses for their unsatisfying lives? Me either. Because happy, success people are mentally strong. They accept responsibility for how their lives unfold. They believe their own happiness and success is a by-product of their own thinking, beliefs, attitudes, character and behaviour.
4 -Successful people follow the rules. Break the rules. Don’t break the law, but break the rules. You don’t need to measure up to other people’s benchmarks. The psychological root of most unhappiness lies in external validation, which happens when you try to measure your self-worth based on the opinions of others. But it’s not what others think… it’s what you think about your life that counts. You, and only you, get to decide what kind of life you want to live. Other people’s goals and expectations don’t matter that much in the long-run.
5 -You need to be perfect to be impressive. If the face you always show the world is a mask, someday there will be nothing beneath it. Because when you spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you eventually forget who you really are. So don’t fear the judgments of others; you know in your heart who you are and what’s true to you. You don’t have to be perfect to impress people. Let them be impressed by how you deal with your imperfections.
6 -There is always an easier way. The path of least resistance is often the path of least reward. You need to do hard things. There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. As Einstein once said, “Genius is 1% talent and 99% percent hard work.” You must run to be a runner. You must write to be a writer. You must actively work on a business venture to learn how to run a successful business. There is no substitute for doing the work. You must take action on what you know!
The philosopher had just spent another hard day at the university asking lots of pertinent and challenging questions. On the way to his favourite restaurant for dinner, he was greeted by an acquaintance.
“Do you know what I just heard about your friend Jamie?”
“Just a moment,” said the philosopher. “Before listening to this I’d like to ask you a few questions.”
“Huh?” said the acquaintance, who was eager to pass on the interesting piece of hot news.
“That’s right. Before you talk about my friend Jamie, it might be a good idea to just pause and consider what you are about to say. I call it the triple distillation test.
The first distillation test is through the filter of truth. Have you made absolutely certain what you are about to tell me is the truth?” “Well….no, actually, you see I just heard about it, and thought, well, you know….
“All right,” said the philosopher. “So you have no idea whether the information is true or not. So let’s try the second distillation through the filter of goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”
“No not at all, in fact—“
“So,” interrupted the philosopher, “you wish to tell me something bad about my friend Jamie, but you’re not at all sure it’s true?”
“However, you may still pass this test, because there’s one more distillation process remaining, the filter of usefulness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend in any way useful to me?”
“Um. No. In fact, not in the slightest.”
“Fine,” said the philosopher. “If what you want to tell me is not true, good or useful, why do you wish to tell me at all?”
There are several good points to this story, not least the following:
Personal and professional integrity are essential if a leader wants others to follow him or her freely and with commitment.
In contexts where gossip, rumour and innuendo are rife, this could be a good story to challenge the culture.
The wise person pays attention to the wider consequences rather than the immediate distractions.
So, in the future before you decide to participate in some office gossip, perhaps run the distillation test?