Leadership and the Alpha Male Syndrome!

I was at an ABC Network meeting recently and was doing a short presentation on systems & processes. Afterwards the question of leadership came up when one of the members said to me “I hate it when somebody points out what I already know, and they are right because I’m not doing it! I’ve put the system in place but don’t use it myself so therefore the staff don’t use it!”

He is not alone in saying one thing and doing another, especially as small business owners it’s easy to tell staff what to do and then blame them for not doing it. Now, there lays the problem…

alpha-maleIf we are the business owner, we are the alpha male/female in that business and our staff will follow our lead, good or bad.

There are far smarter people then I who have written on the all important topic of leadership.

That said, I do want to touch on this one, what I believe to be an incredibly important leadership skill. I consider it to be rule number 1 because anyone who aspires to be a true leader, whether, in their personal life, professionally, or a combination of both, there is simply no way around not making this leadership characteristic a part of their very being.

What’s the number 1 rule of leadership you ask? …

Don’t play the blame game. If you have been entrusted with the role of leader, you need to accept whatever challenges exist, yes even the ones, that may have been present before you undertook the role you currently find yourself in.

I love what John Maxwell says, “Leadership is influence.”

It’s for this very reason that grasping the lesson above is so important. Because people are influenced by those they respect — and if you are a person who doesn’t accept responsibility for creating positive change in the given area of your life where you have been entrusted with the role of leadership, you are going to have a difficult time remaining someone that others respect, and as such are willing to remain influenced by, which as you can imagine is going to limit your ability to lead.

The truly great leaders, the leaders who manage to create a legacy, the kind thatlead-from-the-back lasts years after they have gone from the position of prominence they once held never point to the shortcomings of their predecessors because they know that those who put them in the position of leadership deserve better. They understand that they were entrusted with the all important title of leader because those who trusted them and put them in this position want to see results.

They reached the level the leader not to spend time discussing the challenges they faced, and how bad a shape things were left to them, no those who lifted them up as the leader deserve better, they want solutions, not excuses. And make no mistake, the leaders who leave a lasting legacy never even mention those before them — unless to give them credit and point out the good things that they may have done. Instead they choose to focus on what they are there to do, what others are trusting them to do — to lead, without blame, and excuses, and in-turn create positive change.

Great leaders accept responsibility for the current situation and focus on solutions…

Please, make no mistake, the first, and utmost important characteristic of a true leader is their willingness to own whatever challenges they come across during their tenure as leader. Deflecting and placing blame outside themselves doesn’t fix anything, and those who take this approach inevitably end up disqualifying themselves as true leaders.

Anyone can acknowledge and point out past problems, and place blame on others who may or may not have had a hand in whatever challenges exist.

True leaders are those who refuse to go down the all too common road which is paved by blame, and even goes as far as to ensure that those around them don’t attempt to shift blame either. The true leader accepts the situation as is it now, and further, accepts that he or she is fully responsible for the end result.

They relish in this challenge — they know that excuses, or shifting blame in anyway will diminish their ability to lead, because of the loss of respect they will get as a result of placing blame, and not accepting that they were put in the position they are now because others believed they could get things to where they needed to be, regardless of whatever situation they may have inherited.

Make no mistake, true leaders make the decision to get on with the business of fixing whatever problems and challenges may appear, when they appear, holding and expressing their vision for what will create that and keep others updated with real, measurable results so that everyone can see first
hand that things are in fact changing for the better.

be-the-changeAll of us must be responsible for holding those we entrust with the role of leader accountable. When we see that they are falling short, we must be willing to point it out, and let them know we expect better.

If you are not practicing what you preach then don’t blame your staff if they follow your lead! As Gandhi once said “Be the change you wish to see in the world”

If you want to lift your business to the next level and change your mind-set have a look at some of my seminars.

Do It Now! DIN!

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Why resist change?

What is it about change that we, as humans don’t like?

Is it because we see change as a risk?

The truth is, living is a risk. Happiness is a risk. If you’re not just a little bit scared sometimes, then you’re not doing it right. Don’t worry about mistakes and failures, worry about what you’re giving up when you don’t even try. Worry about the life you’re not living and the opportunities you’re missing, as you only exist in the safety of your comfort zone. Give yourself permission to be one of the people who survived doing it wrong, who made mistakes, but recovered from them and grew into your best and strongest self.

So, here are some good reasons it’s time for all of us to grab hold of change and move forward…

Everything changes, whether you like change or not. – If nothing ever changed there would be no sunrise the next morning. sunsetMost of us are comfortable where we are even though the whole universe is constantly changing around us. Learning to accept this is vital to our happiness and general success. Because only when we change, do we grow, and begin to see a world we never knew was possible. And remember, however good or bad a situation is now, it will change. That’s the one thing you can rely on. So embrace it, and realise that change happens for a reason. It won’t always be easy or obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it.

There’s plenty of life left to be lived. – It’s never too late to live a day that makes you proud. If you don’t learn anything else from this post, learn that. We get one go at the present and we can make it great. Today is the day! There’s no age limit on changing your course, and to settle in and be stuck in a life that isn’t authentic is a tragic waste. Believe me, it’s never too late or too early to be who you are capable of being. There’s no perfect time – you can start and stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. You can make the best or the worst of today. It’s up to you, so make the best of it. Do things that startle you. Feel things you’ve never felt before. Spend time with people who help you grow. Live a life you’re proud of. And if you find that you’re not, have the courage to change things.

You can’t grow by standing in one place. – When things aren’t adding up in your life, it’s time to start subtracting. Sometimes you must let go to grow. You cannot discover new oceans unless you build up enough courage to lose sight of the old, familiar shoreline. Be brave. Follow your values. Listen to your intuition. And remember, no venture is ever a waste of time. The ones that don’t work out teach you lessons that prepare you for the ones that do. A mistake is only a mistake if you make it twice.

The past never changes. – You can spend hours, days, weeks, months, or even years sitting alone in a dark room, over-analysing a situation from the past, trying to put the pieces together, and justifying what could have or should have happened. Or you can just leave the pieces in the dark and walk out the front door into the sunlight to get some fresh air. Why waste today thinking about yesterday, that’s just plain crazy!

Holding on to old pain is self-abuse. – Your past has given you the strength and wisdom you have today, so celebrate it. Don’t let it haunt you. Replaying a painful memory over and over in your head is a form of self-abuse. Toxic thoughts create a toxic life. Make peace with yourself and your past. When you heal your thoughts, you heal the health of your happiness. So stop focusing on old problems and things you don’t want in your future. The more you think about them, the more you attract what you fear into your everyday experiences – you become your own worst enemy.

Moving on creates positive change. – You may blame everyone else and think, “Poor me!

Why do all these shit things keep happening to me? But the only thing those scenarios all have in positive changecommon is YOU. And this is good news, because it means YOU alone have the power to change things, or change the way you think about things. There is something very powerful and liberating about surrendering to change and embracing it – this is where personal growth and evolution reside.

New opportunities are out there waiting for you. – Nobody gets through life without challenges and disruptions… just as nobody gets through life without losing someone they love, something they need, or something they thought was meant to be. But it is these trials that make us stronger and eventually move us toward future opportunities. Embrace these opportunities. Enter new relationships and new situations, knowing that you are venturing into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to experience something or meet someone that just might change your life forever.

“Change isn’t part of the process; it is the process. The bad news: nothing is permanent. The good news: nothing is permanent!”

If you want to lift your business to the next level and change your mind-set have a look at some of my seminars.

Do It Now! DIN!

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Nothing happens by chance!

It was as I was walking up the departure ramp to board my flight home when I heard this loud laughter and a woman speaking with such passion and energy that I could not help but looking. I thought she seems to be the life and soul of that particular party; I was secretly hoping that I wouldn’t be seated next to them on the plane, after all what were the chances of that out of 380 other passengers?

When we booked in Sarah (My wife) asked as usual for a window seat only to be told that the only window seat was a single and we would have to sit separately. I was hoping for a sleep on the plane and anywhere other than a window seat would make that impossible due to my long legs. So separate seats it was.

As I handed my boarding pass to the stewardess she said “just there Sir….” Fantastic, right at the front in the exit gangway, not only a window seat but long leg room. Yahoooo.

While we waited for the last passengers to board the two seats next to me where still empty, it was then that I heard that same loud voice, surely not? You guessed it; she sat right next to me with her partner. (Bloody law of attraction) My four hour sleep disappeared into the distance just as my short break had.

You are probably asking “and so what?” Well as you know I believe “Nothing happens by chance, my friend!”

“No such thing as luck. A meaning behind every little thing, and such a meaning behind this. Part for you, part for me, may not see it all real clear right now, but we will, before long.” (Richard Bach) Everything happens for a reason.

So what could be the reason behind this meeting I wonder?

It all soon became clear… This loud confident lady turned out to be the ultimate pessimist with absolutely no confidence and in danger of attracting all of the negative things she was imagining on a daily basis.

By the end of the flight Ash had done what Ash does best and this lady ended her holiday with a promise to learn from the Law of Attraction, re-frame her negative thought patterns and change her life for the best forever…..

Now the lessons in this “chance‚” meeting and a reminder to us all;

  • Everything happens for a reason.
  • The Law of attraction will attract whatever you are thinking. Good or bad. 
  • If you realised how powerful your thoughts were, you would be very careful what you thought.
  • The decision to change needs to be accompanied by positive action!

Now, for those of you that think the “Law of Attraction” is a load of old baloney here is the scientific explanation!

One of the most difficult to conceive parts of your brain is the small section called the Reticular Activating System (RAS). This tiny portion of the human brain is the size of your little finger and it can actually have a major role and effect on your life in general.

This is how and why your RAS can change your life.

At any given time during your day, your mind is bombarded with millions of bits of sensory stimulation’s from the physical environment where you are. Sounds, smells, tastes, sights, and feelings are continually being downloaded into your system, and your mind needs a way to filter that information. That is the purpose of the RAS and why it came into being.

The Reticular Activating System sits in your brain and acts as a custom filter which adapts to different types of situation and reacts instantly. If you think of the RAS as a bouncer at the door of your mind. Your beliefs tell the RAS what is or is not important, chiefly making a list of all the information invited to the party, and your RAS then acts like the club bouncer letting whoever is on the list in and chucking the rest out on the street.

Of those millions of bits of information entering your brain, your RAS only lets in around 130 pieces of those bits of information per second into your conscious mind. That’s about all that your central nervous system can handle at one time, and the details you let in are the ones that you have deemed over the years to be important enough for yourself.

This is where the work comes in, and the awesome results follow. Over 30 days, if you think about it and imagine yourself experiencing something new, or affirming an additional, recent belief like “the world is full of amazing and incredible people,” slowly but surely you are moulding your filter so that this new statement is having access to your mind and a new mind-set is taking place. As you give access to your mind for new convictions, new thoughts are making their way in your subconscious.

We all know that no matter our beliefs, especially where they normally deal with other people, there are plenty of opinions to prove one right or wrong out there in the world. If you believe people are bad, there will be plenty of people around that can prove you right. If you believe people are great, there are just as many people out there waiting to prove that belief right too.

In the end, it is about what belief you choose to embrace and impress upon your subconscious.

For the lady in question (You know who you are!) Thank you for keeping in touch and well done for the fantastic changes you’ve made!

If you want to lift your business to the next level and change your mind-set have a look at some of my seminars.

Do It Now!

Would you like to join an accountability results group?
Come along to my Entrepreneurs Business Club!

If you like this blog, please try my book!stuffforbusiness