I’ve been talking a lot about questioning skills with my clients lately and thought you might enjoy some assorted thoughts.
1) A good question can draw someone inward and . . . cause them to reflect, consider and even do so subconsciously through the awareness your question has created.
2) Good questioning allows you to take control of a situation . . . without being controlling!
3) Good questions create higher quality communication. Higher quality communication fosters superior relationships. Want superior relationships? Start by asking a better question!
4) Good questions lead the recipient on a path of self discovery. You could tell someone something and perhaps they will consider it. If they discover it . . . They own it!
5) Good questions create high levels of rapport. Perhaps Voltaire was spot on when he said “Judge of a man not by his answers, but by his questions‚Äù What do your questions say about you?
6) A good question changes the lens in which a person sees their world.
7) A good question, asked of the wrong person, is just as ineffective as a poor question asked of the right person. We were taught, early on in sales, to go to the highest level of decision maker. What if we ask a brilliant question of this high level individual, but they are several layers removed from feeling the impact?
8) A good question, at the front end of a response can offer the clarity needed for you to offer a meaningful response. It will also buy you time to craft your response.
9) Good questions focus not only on discovering “the pain‚Äù, they focus on discovering the opportunities your client/prospect desires!
10) A good question can move someone off the fence of indifference by igniting emotional buy in!
So there you have it…… “If you want a better answer, ask a better question.‚Äù
The wisest and happiest among us are those who are respectful of their time, and who use it productively to grow as they age. Sadly though, far too many of us age much faster than we grow. We spend so much of our lives going through the external motions of what society tells us “maturity” is – getting married, buying a house, working our way up the corporate ladder, etc. – that we fail to concentrate on our own inner growth and goals. We never allocate enough time just for us.
Part of the problem is that we’re always waiting for some condition to resolve itself at some point in the future. We believe that the right time to take the next step with our own personal development is somehow going to magically happen tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, and so on. But one day we wake up and realise that we’re no closer than we were. We find ourselves asking, “How did it get so late, and why haven’t I moved?” In other words, we’ve aged, but we haven’t grown to our true potential. We never fulfilled ourselves.
Let this be your wake-up call. LIFE is right now. Indulge in it! Make it count. Because it’s happening… NOW!
1. Invest the present in what matters most to you.
You are the customer of a bank called Time. Every morning it credits you with eighty-six thousand, four hundred seconds. Every night it writes off, as a loss, whatever remainder you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.
Each day it opens a new account for you with the same deposit of eighty-six thousand, four hundred seconds. Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the tomorrow. You must live in the present on today’s deposits only. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success.
You’re making withdrawals right this second. The only question is: Are you making them count?
2. Focus on writing your own life story, your way.
Remember that every moment counts. Every second matters. Honestly, whatever is given is a gift.
So don’t be so satisfied with the success stories of others and how things have gone for them that you forget to write your own. Unfold your own story and bring it to life. You have everything you need to become what you are capable of becoming. Incredible change happens when you decide to take control. This means consuming less and creating more. It means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and deciding for you. It means learning to respect and use your own ideas and instincts to write your passage.
If you want your life story to soar to new heights, you’ve got to clear a path, reduce the time-thieves and burdens weighing you down, and pick up the things that give you wings. Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to your heart and dedicate time to them every day. If you truly care about what you do and you work diligently at it, there’s almost nothing you can’t accomplish.
3. Say what you do, do what you say!
Remember that thinking and doing are two very different things. Success never comes to look for you while you wait around thinking about it.
You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do. Knowledge is basically useless without action. Good things don’t come to those who wait; they come to those who work on meaningful goals. Ask yourself what’s really important and then have the courage to build your life around your answer.
Identify what’s most important to you. Dump nonessential commitments. Eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else. No wasted time, no fluff, no regrets.
And remember, if you wait until you feel 100% ready to begin, you’ll likely be waiting the rest of your life.
So challenge yourself to be who you know you are capable of being. Challenge yourself to follow through – to say what you do, and do what you say, to walk your talk. Don’t worry about how slowly you feel you’re heading towards your goals, or how many roadblocks you find, or how many detours you’re forced to take. As long as you keep doing your thing, you’re still cruising far ahead of everyone who’s too scared to even try.
4. Step boldly into the unknown.
And don’t buy into the myth of the perfect moment either. Moments aren’t perfect; they’re what you make them. So many people wait around for the stars to align to do what they’re here to do. The perfect moment, the perfect opportunity, the perfect state of being, etc. Wake up! These states of perfection are myths. They do not exist.
Your ability to grow to your highest potential is directly related to your willingness to act in the face of imperfection. You will come to succeed not by finding a perfect moment, but by learning to see and use life’s imperfections perfectly.
So ask yourself this: “When all is said and done, will I have said more than I’ve done?” Let your answer be NO!
May your actions speak louder than your words. May your life preach louder than your lips. May your success be your noise in the end.
And if life only teaches you one thing, let it be that taking a passionate leap is always worth it. Even if you have no idea where you’re going to land yet, be brave enough to step up to the edge of the unknown, and listen to your heart every now and then. You’re worth it.
Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will. So don’t let fear decide your future. In the end, you can be comfortable or courageous, but not both at once.
2 – Keep being unrealistic!
To be successful, you have to be a little unrealistic. You have to believe that something totally different than what has happened for an eternity CAN happen starting now. Think about it.
Being realistic doesn’t change anything – being unrealistic does.
Doesn’t it seem a bit unrealistic to be able to use a mobile phone to instantly research any topic imaginable, watch movies, get perfect driving directions to anywhere you want to go, and see your friends face-to-face no matter where in the world you are? Fortunately a small group of computer scientists didn’t think so.
3 – Keep being willing to make mistakes!
Making mistakes is far more productive than never moving. You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy avoiding or denying them. And no matter how bad of a mistake you make, there comes a time when you have to stop thinking about it and move on.
No regrets in life – just lessons that show you the way forward.
4 – Keep thinking positive!
Thoughts are power. They create and destroy. What is possible is everything. What you do is up to you.
Look around and you will see that almost your entire life has been born out of your thoughts. Know this, and plant your seeds accordingly. You can change your mind at any moment. So go ahead and Change it, Do It Now.
5 – Keep giving what you can!
Exercise your talents to give back.
Do so whenever you can, because you can. And when you get tired, remember all those people who can’t do what you can do.
Think about what they would be willing to give to have the abilities you have right now – a simple gift you take for granted.
Then strive harder just for them. And know that there are others out there with different gifts who are doing the same for you.
If the face you always show the world is a mask, someday there will be nothing beneath it. Because when you spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you eventually forget who you really are. So don’t fear the judgments of others; you know in your heart who you are and what’s true to you. You don’t have to be perfect to impress and inspire people. Let them be impressed and inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.
2- Letting someone else create your dreams for you.
The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are; the second greatest is being happy with what you find. A big part of this is your decision to stay true to your own goals and dreams. Do you have people who disagree with you? Good. It means you’re standing your ground and walking your own path. Sometimes you’ll do things considered crazy by others, but when you catch yourself excitedly losing track of time, that’s when you’ll know you’re doing the right thing.
3- Keeping negative company.
Don’t let someone who has a bad attitude give it to you. Don’t let them get to you. They can’t pull the trigger if you don’t hand them the gun. When you remember that keeping the company of negative people is a choice, instead of an obligation, you free yourself to keep the company of compassion instead of anger, generosity instead of greed, and patience instead of anxiety.
4- Being selfish and egotistical.
A life filled with loving deeds and good character is the best tombstone. Those who you inspired and shared your love with will remember how you made them feel long after your time has expired. So carve your name on hearts, not stone. What you have done for yourself alone dies with you; what you have done for others and the world remains.
5- Avoiding change and growth.
If you want to know your past look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future look into your present actions. You must let go of the old to make way for the new; the old way is gone, never to come back. If you acknowledge this right now and take steps to address it, you will position yourself for lasting success.