8 Things Unhappy People Refuse to Admit

Everyone experiences an unhappy mood on occasion, but there is a big difference between experiencing a temporary bout of unhappiness and living a habitually unhappy life. That’s what chronically unhappy people do. And although many of these people are afraid to admit it, a vast majority of their unhappiness stems from their own beliefs and behaviors.

Over the years, I have helped lots of unhappy people rediscover their smiles, and, in the process, I’ve learned a lot about the negative beliefs and behaviors that typically hold them back. Even if you are generally a happy person, take a look at the list below.

Many of the unhappy people I’ve worked with initially refused to admit that they carried these beliefs and behaviors, even when the evidence stacked against them was undeniable. See if any of these points are keeping you from experiencing greater amounts of happiness.

1. They struggle with self-respect.

Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should be showing yourself. Be your own best friend. Trust your inner spirit and follow your instincts.

Accept who you are completely, the good and the bad, and make changes in your life as YOU see fit – not because you think anyone else wants you to be different, but because you know it’s the right thing to do, for YOU.

Be the person you will be happy to live with for the duration of your life. Don’t rely on your significant other, or anyone else, for your happiness and self-worth. Know that our first and last love is always self-love, and that if you can’t love and respect yourself, no one else will be able to either.

2. They are self-conscious about what others think of them.

The minute you stop overwhelming your mind with caring about what everyone else thinks, and start doing what you feel in your heart is right, is the minute you will finally feel freedom and peace of mind. In fact, you can end half your troubles immediately by no longer permitting people to tell you what you want.

You have to put your life in your own hands. Others may be able hold your happiness hostage temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.

3. They are holding on to old grudges.

You will never find peace until you learn to finally let go of the hatred and hurt that lives in your heart. Life is far too short to be spent in nursing bitterness and keeping count of wrongs.

Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, on the other hand, is for those who are confident enough to stand on their own two legs and move on.

In order to move on, you must know why you felt the way you did, and why you no longer need to feel that way. It’s about accepting the past, letting it be, and pushing your spirit forward with good intentions. Nothing empowers your ability to heal and grow as much as your love and forgiveness.

4. The routines they follow imprison them.

Remember that the way you’ve always done it isn’t the only way. It’s unlikely that one of the things you’ll regret when you’re 70 is not having consumed enough beer in your 20s, or not having bought enough £5 coffee’s from Starbucks, or not having frequented the same night club for years. But the regret of missing out on opportunities is a real, toxic feeling.

The bottom line is that you’ve figured out drinking and going out. You’ve had enough coffee’s. It’s time to figure something else out. Every corner you turn or street you walk down has a new experience waiting for you. You just have to see the opportunity and be adventurous enough to run with it.

5. There’s a lot they can’t control (even though they try).

Life is often unpredictable. Some of the great moments in your life won’t necessarily be the things you do; they’ll be things that happen to you. That doesn’t mean you can’t take action to affect the outcome of your life.

You have to take action, and you will. But don’t forget that on any day, you can step out of your front door and your whole life can change in an instant – for better or worse.

To an extent, the universe has a plan that’s always in motion. A butterfly flaps its wings and it starts to rain – it’s a scary thought, but it’s part of life’s cycle. All these little parts of the machine, constantly working – sometimes forcing you to struggle, and sometimes making sure you end up exactly in the right place at the right time.

6. They let their fears numb them from life’s goodness.

“Numbing‚Äù is any activity that you use to desensitise your feelings so that you don’t experience vulnerability or hurt. But by numbing yourself to vulnerability, you also numb yourself to love, belonging, empathy, creativity, adventure and all of life’s goodness.

Remember, every worthwhile venture in life – intimate love, friendship, a new business, etc. – is scary. These things are inherently risky. They are unsafe. These things aren’t for the faint hearted. They take courage. And most importantly, they can’t coexist with fear.

When you open up to life’s greatest opportunities and joys it means you’re also giving life the opportunity to break your heart, but trusting that it won’t… that the risk is well worth the reward.

7. They are addicted to avoiding themselves in the present moment.

This is something we all struggle with sometimes. It’s also the root cause of nearly all of our unhappiness.

One of the hardest challenges we face in life is to simply live in our own skin – to just be right here, right now, regardless of where we are. Too often we needlessly distract ourselves with anything and everything: food, booze, shopping, television, tabloid news, online social networks, video games, mobile phones, iPods, etc. – basically anything to keep us from being fully present in the current moment.

We use compulsive work, compulsive exercise, compulsive love affairs, and the like, to escape from ourselves and the realities of living. In fact, many of us will go to great lengths to avoid the feeling of being alone in an undistracted environment.

So we succumb to hanging-out with just about anybody to avoid the feeling of solitude. For being alone means dealing with our true feelings: fear, anxiety, happiness, anger, joy, resentment, disappointment, anticipation, sadness, excitement, despair, and so on and so forth.

And it doesn’t really matter if our feelings are positive or negative – they are overwhelming and exhausting, and so we prefer to numb ourselves to them. The bottom line is that we are all addicted to avoiding ourselves. Acknowledging this addiction is the first step to healing it.

So begin today by just noticing with curiosity, and without judgment, all of the ways in which you avoid being in your own skin, right here, right now, in this present moment we call life.

8. The grass isn’t greener anywhere else.

If you feel anxious because you constantly feel like you’re missing out on something happening somewhere else, you’re not alone. We all feel this way sometimes – like the grass is greener somewhere else at this very moment. But let me assure you, you could run around trying to do everything, and travel around the world, and always stay connected, and work and party all night long without sleep, but you could never do it all.

You will always be missing something, and thus it will always seem like something wonderful might be happening elsewhere.

So let it go, and realise you have everything right now. The best in life isn’t somewhere else; it’s right where you are, at this moment. Celebrate the perhaps not so insignificant fact that you are alive right now. This moment, and who you are, is absolutely perfect.

Take a deep breath, smile, and notice the green grass under your own two feet.


Let me tell you a secret I’ve learned about happiness. Nobody is happy all of the time. It’s perfectly normal to experience considerable fluctuations in your level of happiness from day to day, month to month, and even year to year.

In fact, according to a recent scientific study, overall levels of happiness decline from one’s teens until one’s 40s and then pick up again until they peak in one’s early 70s. So the chances are that your happiest days are yet to come. Hopefully that gives you something to smile about today.

“It’s your life, it’s also your choice!”

Are you too busy justifying what you know to find out what you don’t? Especially as what you know has got you what you have!

Burn your boat!

Many believe the Viking legend that proposes the Norsemen burned their own ships as they invaded a new frontier. Within that unconventional behavior was the thought that taking such action guaranteed commitment to conquering the territory. The Vikings knew how the mind works. Retreating to a safe harbour when situations become difficult is something most of us are all too familiar with.

We know intuitively the right path for our lives. And while we all get off task and distracted by our work-a-day worlds and relationships that demand attention, we know when we are on course. Most of us are experts at quitting unproductive behavior… because we’ve quit and then re-started that poor behavior many times.

Here are the four ideas that will help you on your conquest to gain what is rightfully yours:

1 – Identify the major roadblocks
2 – Agree you have the ability to overcome any obstacle (Many times we created it)
3 – Surround yourself with people that support your dreams.
4 – Burn the ship… take away the fears and behaviors that allow you to retreat to safe and unproductive harbour’s.

Burning the ships is one of many legends of the Vikings (good and bad). We are responsible for creating our legend.

Set sail to new territory today… and burn the ship of self-doubt when you get there

It’s all about choice!

I’m sure you’ve heard it before, and I couldn’t agree more; Life is merely a series of choices.
Where you are right now can all be linked back to every choice that you’ve made in your life to date.
Every day we all make countless choices and every single one of them counts.
Have a look at this short film.
Two Wolves!
“It’s your life, and it’s your choice!”

6 Characteristics of an Entrepreneur!

1. Motivation. The single most important characteristic is the drive to accomplish, the need to accomplish. How do you score in this department?

2. Continuous action. This is the ability to keep moving toward objectives, despite obstacles. It’s perseverance. It’s the willingness to put in months and years of effort in order to achieve that ‚Äîor avoid that, as the case may be ‚Äî which motivates you.

3. Taking counsel. Obtaining the best available intelligence but making a solitary and individual judgment. The person with a characteristic of an Entrepreneur will listen to the opinions of others. This person will also be quick to adopt their plans if he or she thinks they’re good ‚Äî and also quick to give full credit for an idea. Since this person does not suffer from feelings of inferiority, it is not important to this person that he or she must come up with all the good ideas or take all the credit. Just the contrary is true. This person will take counsel.

4. Flexibility. The ability to develop alternate courses of action. In every description of maturity I’ve ever read, the word flexibility is high on the list. Yet in the world of business, you quite often find the ineffective employee whose ideas are set in concrete. This is the employee misfit who will say, “We’ve always done things a certain way around here, and that’s the way we’re going to continue to do them.‚Äù This person has no place in a growing business and is a serious detriment to growth. He or she should be given an unimportant job or fired. If you can get your competitor to hire this person, so much the better.

5. Simplicity. Now, this is that marvelous and rare talent to reduce the seemingly complex into simple terms and ideas. To be able to see right through all the maze of confusion to the basic goals and the basic reason for being in business. As a successful client once said to me, “We have to constantly keep in mind that the entire aim of our business is to move people and things from one place to another as efficiently as possible.‚Äù

6. Dramatisation. That’s the skill and imagination in expressing beliefs. Now usually with the really good entrepreneur, this dramatisation comes perfectly naturally. It’s born of enthusiasm and interest in what’s being done and in plans for the future.

7. Being the boss. That is to say, maintaining enough detachment so that there’s never any question as to who’s in charge. This is difficult to define. It’s never a matter of egoism; it’s a matter of stature. It’s something that’s been earned and is deserved.

So, what of these characteristics are you going to choose? If any!

Stuff to let go of!

1. Criticising everyone and everything.

Life isn’t perfect. People make mistakes. Let go of unfair expectations. Stop criticising yourself and others for being human. If you feel like everyone is judging you all the time, realise that human beings often feel this way when they are too busy judging themselves.

It’s far easier to be critical than correct, just as it’s easier to see why something is lacking rather than why it is good. If you meet someone for the first time and you decide, “This is a person I don’t like,‚Äù you can basically take every one of their characteristics and find the obvious flaw. What’s hard to do is describe what you like about them, despite their incompatibility with your ideals.

Everyone is unique: not better, not worse, just unique in their own way. Appreciate the differences instead of criticising the shortcomings and you’ll see people – and yourself – in a far better light.

2. Believing that you have all the answers.

Criticising has a big brother: the know-it-all-syndrome. The older you grow, the higher you rise in your chosen field, and the more you achieve, the more likely you are to think you know it all. When you catch yourself thinking and speaking with intense finality and little tolerance for new ideas, stop yourself and take a deep breath. If you do not, you will alienate the world around you and become more and more disconnected from reality with each passing day. Few things are sadder and leave a person unhappier.

Remember, it isn’t someone who proves you wrong that hurts you; it is choosing to continue your self-deception and ignorance that eventually conquers you entirely.

The measure of your intelligence and success in life will be in direct proportion to your ability to change your mind and let it expand. If someone is able to show you that what you think or do is not right, thank them and happily adjust. Seek the truth. Never stop learning.

3. Trying to control everything.

Craving control leads to anger and unhappiness. Life is to be lived, not controlled. Powerful, positive change will occur in your life when you decide to take control of yourself instead of craving control over everyone and everything else.

Imagine that you’re driving in your car and you get stuck in rush hour traffic. The traffic situation is out of your control and simply requires your patience. However, this doesn’t stop you from switching lanes, trying to cut in front of other cars, or even leaving the road you’re on to try alternate routes – all desperate efforts to gain control. Sadly, these efforts just lead to further stress and unhappiness when they are unsuccessful – when control is again obstructed.

Quite simply, the reason you are often miserable and stressed is because of an unhealthy attachment to certain things you have no control over. So let go. Release the tension and stress. Realise you haven’t lost anything; you were never in control of the uncontrollable to begin with.

4. Dwelling on what used to be.

When something negative happens, view this circumstance as a chance to learn something you didn’t know. Don’t wish it never happened. Don’t try to step back in time. Take the lessons learned and step forward. You have to tell yourself, “It’s OK. You’re doing OK.‚Äù You need to know that it’s better to cross new lines and suffer the consequences of a lesson learned from time to time, than to just stare at the lines for the rest of your life and always wonder.

The past is valuable. It provides a solid foundation for everything you’re doing now. Learn from it – the mistakes and the successes – and then let it go. This process might seem easier said than done, but it depends on your focus. The past is just training; it doesn’t define you in this moment. Think about what went wrong, but only in terms of how you will help you make things right.

The bottom line is that if nothing ever changed – if no chances were ever taken and no mistakes were ever made – there would be no sunrise the next morning. Most of us are comfortable where we are even though the whole universe is constantly changing around us. Learning to accept this change is vital to our happiness and general self-improvement. Because only when we let go of what used to be, do we grow and begin to see a world we never knew was possible.

5. Wanting everything you don’t have.

Life is NOT short if you spend every waking moment appreciating it. It’s just that by the time most of us catch up to appreciating what we have, we’ve already squandered our time and left life at least halfway behind us.

The key is being thankful for what you have NOW.

No, not all the puzzle pieces of life will seem to fit together at first, but in time you’ll realise they do, perfectly. So thank the situations that didn’t work out for you, because they just made room for the situations that will. And thank the people who walked away from you, because they just made room for the ones who won’t.

No matter how good or bad you think you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, think about what you have that everyone else is missing. Think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive in your own shoes – to breathe a fresh breath, to think another thought, to enjoy a new moment, to have options – then go out and make the day count.

6. Whining and doing nothing about it.

Complaining does not work as a strategy. Those who complain the most, accomplish the least positive results. When you spend time fretting and complaining, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.

Don’t talk about what’s wrong. Harping on your problems makes you feel worse, not better. Unless you want to complain about it forever, eventually you’ll have to DO something. If you took a fraction of the energy you put into complaining and applied it to solving your problem, you’d likely be stunned by how well things can work out. Start talking about how you’ll improve things, even if the conversation is only with yourself, and then focus on the next positive step. Refocus your energy into making your situation better.

It’s your life and it’s your choice…

Are you a winner or loser?

Those who play the game of life TO WIN. (Take Action on what they KNOW.)
Those who play the game of life to NOT TO LOSE. (Keep collecting more information and avoid taking Action.)
The reason why most people do not have what they want is because their sub-conscious goal is not to get what they want, but to avoid failure and disappointment. (Fear of failure) So they CHOOSE to do nothing. They just read and study and accumulate more information.

You always have a choice. You can CHOOSE to play the game of life to AVOID LOSING and live an unstable, stressful life of limitation in which, no matter how much you read and study stuff, you will never CONSISTENTLY get what you want, or..…

You can CHOOSE to play the game of life to WIN and DO WHAT YOU KNOW. When you do, your life will no longer be about survival, but about experiencing joy and abundance and creating anything you desire regardless of your current circumstances, the economy or any other perceived obstacle.

It’s all about choice…. What are you choosing right now?